An Everyday guide to life's simple things. Just a way to sit back, relax, and chuckle a bit at anyone's expense. Pay close attention, I may just amuse you.
Monday, December 18, 2006
Have no FeaR..the Coolest Christmas present is HeRe..Fellas take notes
I was thinking about and wondering what is the perfect gift for that perfect girl that you have. The one you adore, THAT girl. After spending many sleepless nights wondering, pondering, imagining what can make THAT girl love you for ever and ever, I came across this. Its a gift that can last a lifetime. It provides fulfillment, love, passion, desire, enjoyment..all in one. Ladies, feast on your eyes on the absolute perfect gift for you. Not only can it be deemed a great Christmas present, but it can serve as a wonderful Valentine's Day gift as well.
Now..this video is off the heezeeee fo sheezzee maaa neezzeee..actually..this video is kinda fucked up, but hey if you cant make fun of the Tards, then who can you make fun of..they r funny looking people what do you expect..eeh I kid, I kid..still funny tho..by the way, make sure you have a napkin for any food and/or snot that will shoot out of in or around your mouth once the joke is over..trust me
I was recently put on to this fellow comedian and saw one of his specials. Now I was skeptical about his material but lord jesus christ of latter day saints if i didnt wet myself once, id call myself a WhoRe!!!..do yourselves a favor and click on the video above..its Carlos Mencia and his version of Kanye West's video Gold-digger..he does make a good point..the dudes's head just got waaaaaaay to friggin big. Enjoy Bytches
What is love? I bet at some point or another, we all have asked ourselves that question. As expected, we all have our own version of what love is. Some believe it is being faithful and loyal, some believe compromise, trust, communication. All of those are valid points, but does it really mean you are in "love". In order for a relationship to succeed those are all necessities. If we want "it" to work, we CAN'T CHEAT, we MUST trust, we MUST communicate, we MUST compromise. So how does that mean that we are in love. " I Love You" are perhaps the three most precious words a man can say to a woman or vice versa because it means they have decided to give themselves entirely to you. Their entire being is now becoming one with yours. But again, how do you know it is real true love. There all kinds of love..friendly love, brotherly/sisterly love, relationship love, best friend love, parenting love. But Pure Love. What is it? This is the bibles interpretation of what love is:
Love is long-suffering and kind. Love is not jealous, it does not brag, does not get puffed up, does not behave indecently, does not look for its own interests, does not become provoked. It does not keep account of the injury. It does not rejoice over the unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.
WOW!! Kinda makes you think huh? After reading that, ask yourself, have you really ever been in love. Who hasnt cheated, been jealous, been disrespectful and at some pt felt some joy in someone else's misery. But there is and was that individual in which none of that was ever present. This is why people always say pure true love always comes once in a lifetime. If you dont recognize it when it comes, or mess it up, its lost forever. We will always experience some form of love or create our own interpretation of what we want love to be. But in the end, what the bible deems as love is what I consider the true meaning of pure love. Pure love happens when there is all those things described above but more importantly a sense of INNOCENCE. Purity and Innocence. You dont think about trust, because you dont ever think about cheating, you dont think about comprimise because you willingly do it without thought, you dont think about communication because you willfully become best friends. You allow your soul to become one with her soul. Perhaps that person whom you compelled yourself to conform to everything that is described in the bibles description of love may have been your true love. We all love, the person you are with right now you currently love in some way, shape or form. This isnt meant to question your feelings for your partner, just one bloggers opinion, Mr. SB.
Dont ever settle for The next great thing, The best guy, the best girl. Always go for THAT guy, THAT girl. THAT person whom you'd give your entire being to be with, tingles and all. Take this for what is, I guess I have a tendency to be a sensitive sap, but its what makes me who I am.
Mr.SB........out............NaH ZzZzZayin.. BTW, im back bytches, more updates coming this week.
The real secret behind a man enduring yrs and yrs of marriage!!!
Long Term relationships. Women love them, respect them and honor them. Men, well we just go with the flow and hold on for yrs on end. What's the secret to upholding a long lasting relationship, watch the master explain it, ladies and gents...Mr. Dane Cook.
New Crime Wave...Mental Terrorism..and women are leading the charge!!!!
We all have had relationships where all you do is fight, kick, scream, yell and play fight up until it takes a turn for the worse. Lord knows 99% of the population simply can't just walk away from a bad situation but this video goes to show that at the end of the day, it's a woman's world and we should just be happy to be living in it. Proof positive why women are the damnation of a man's sanity.
Dont hurt em Stewie, please go easy on him..no..nooo..oh god..oh god..oh Lord Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints
This is single-handedly the worst person you could EVER have problems with. I felt his wrath and i couldnt walk for days. Dude just pay him, seriously.
Man Law; Can we live without it? Hell Naaaww Man!!
Man Law...what is it? perhaps to a female (no offense, I love you, no im not gay) its ways of men ignoring them and simply acting like fools. On the contrary my ladies, it’s simply a format of rules that all "real" men must apply to their daily lives in order to be deemed a "MAN". These examples range from leaving the toilet seat up, coming home from work and leaving your clothes on the floor until you find the time in your busy schedule scratching your ass to put them away, drinking out of the carton, eating from the refrigerator using your own hands instead of using an actual plate..and if you do use the plate simply tossing the sucker in the sink to be washed "Later", playing videogames as if it’s your calling and destiny to hrs of the night (im so guilty of this one), drinking beer...drink some more beer..a few more to chug away..throw up..curse god for the smell and the headache of all headaches you're about to endure..then dust yourself off and get yo-self another beer. All these are behaviors that make us who we are as men. Sure we can pick up a broom sometimes and sweep and eventually we will, just not at the moment. But at the end of the day, its accepted..why? hell they have a saying about us men " Can't live with em........cant live without em." Down below are some Man Laws researched that all men must uphold. Well those who aren’t dabbling in their machinery with other fellow men :o(
-It is always cool for a man to hold his daughter's hand--duh--and even cooler is to hold her hot friend's hand. Coolness of course only granted once she is of legal age..otherwise um stay away you're a pedophile you tard!! -A man never spoons dip on his plate; the chip is to be dipped aggressively into the dip..if it breaks, grab a bigger piece, dip it and move on. -A Man shall never be afraid of a bug or animal.PERIOD!!(well at least not while the wife/girlfriend or some hot hot chicks are around.) Of course any animal that is known for eating humans is um exempt from this list. -Crashing beer cans into your forehead is lame, its not the same statement as it used to be son..move on. -High Fives are no longer cool; stop giving them out like welfare checks...Man Law!! -Ex-girlfriends of your best friend are off limits..well if she's gorgeous, wait 6 months then all bets are off...Man Law!!! -All Man Laws can be broken if it results in you being able to touch a hot woman...anywhere!! -The Cheating Man Law-men are allowed to cheat if they are in a state that doesn’t border the one their current girlfriend lives in. Also if the woman doesn’t put up after 30 days of dating, then cheating is allowed as well (oh come on, we are adults here...there's no forever here..gAwwd) -Friends are NOT allowed to claim more than 3 females at one time. There should also be a 6 month probationary period where if no progress is gained, then all and anyone can claim her. However if 3 women are achieved at the same time then all shall hail to him as the king of greatness!! -No MAN shall ever transfer from Colleges to be with his girlfriend. It is forbidden to pass up on college parties and drunken chicks!! -" Jerry Maguire" is NOT I repeat NOT a Football Movie. It is a chick flick. “Show me the money" does not constitute this as a football movie. Tom Cruise Period is banned from the Man Clan!! -No Man shall EVER agree with Oprah...this proves God may indeed be a female. -No Man shall chase after any woman..um no wait a single wealthy woman is the exception to the rule...Man Law!! -Wives shall never be taken to strip clubs unless she is a willing participant with girl on girl action. And lastly but definitely the Single Most IMPORTANT Man Law! and for all of Mankind!! -A Remote Control is OFF LIMITS to women between the hours of 5pm-12am, Monday through Friday..and all day Saturday and Sundays. NO EXCEPTIONS..well women may handle the magical wand to turn off the TV if only to participate in the act of sexual intercourse or other activities benefiting the man's sexual pleasures!!! Man Friggin Law!!!
Don’t take offense ladies or gents who act like ladies, just this 28yr old man's opinion of a culture phenomenon sweeping the nation. Whhhooooo hoooo that Mr. SB is one silly lit-tle Bitch...yes I am..y...e....sssss I am friend. Man Law!!
Now what you see above is these characters' perspective in determining the severity of their Gay-ness. However behold down below other characteristics that can help YOU finally answer the age-old question you've been asking yourself since your conception "Huh??? Am I really Gay?"
Checklist: -You can actually tell a woman you love her bathing suit and really mean her bathing suit -You know the difference between a latte, cappuccino, cafe au lait and a macchiata. And if you dont know, you sure know how to fake it ;o) -No one will EVER expect you to change a tire. -You're the only "guy" in a girl group who gets to do the Cosmopolitan quizzes..haha..im such a silly bitch -At a moments notice, you can literally recite the history of gaydome since its inception. -You are hands down, your nephew's or niece's favorite uncle. -People know you can't stand them by simply giving them "the smile" -All the good fortunes in the world couldnt put you front and center at a Hooters -You understand why the good lord created spandex -In relation to the above, you also understand why the good lord did NOT intend for everyone to wear them -You realize that being called a "cheap slut" is not necessarily a bad thing. -You never hold a grudge for longer than a friggin decade. -You've managed to defeat the very accent you were born with. -If you consistently say Mmmmmm-Hmmmm..go girlfriend. -Lastly, but the clincher, You are the only kind of male who knows when shoes are "in season"
Now my fellow readers, I'm sure to catch some flak for this, but listen heethens...it's not that serious. Hey they joke on straight people all the time. I'm just returning the favor. Hope you all enjoy.
